Okeh, so, later from 9am onwards, my life will be over.

Probably its because i know this job is gonna stick with me for life, (sort of, at least until one day im sick of it)

thats why im feeling so god damn stressful especially when that job is totally not my style at all. (#_#)

Ahh fuck it. My life is over. Why cant i be a 17 year old forever!? (T_T)

because to me, nothing's ever out of reach when im 17!

Rain is grace

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

 

Joyce and i spent 2 nights together and y'know how you'll tend to forget all your troubles when you're with friends?

That was how i felt. After she went home, i feel like im all alone again. My home, it feels like a shell bc i seldom talk to my family too.

Everytime when im back at home, all the things i didnt want to think about just came back into my mind automatically and i friggin' hate it.

Worst of all, when i woke up today, i got a text from Gary (=..=) After reading his text i felt so fucked up i'dk what to do.

Plus he kept reminding me of our past. Although the past about us he mentioned were good stuffs, but in my flashbacks, there were only all the bad things he did.

Bc the bad things he did can actually cover up ALL the good moments we had.

Then, i replied him...

Its like the things i replied back to him were all about what happened to me during last year just that i cut it in short. Ehy.... actually i didnt even specifically tell him what happened, i just babbled a bunch of shits and while i was replying,

at the same time, my mind had flashbacks about everything that had happened last year.

I didnt know why i started telling him all those stuffs either. Its like after i hit the send button then i realised what i was actually doing. zzz.

And, i had a friend. I couldnt use the "real me" to talk to him at all. He didnt allow it. He said its bc he's afraid that people are gonna talk shits about me.

But i think the real reason is bc he's afraid of people talking craps about him bc he's flirting with alot of girls. Okeh seriously i dont even care if he's flirting or not bc we're only friends (=..=) its bc of him, he's the caused of the whole damn problem that i have to hide behind a guy's status to talk to him. Z.

How pathetic is that LOL. I find it too suffocating to be friends with him so eventually i stopped talking to him much.

Plus in the first place, why will people talk shits about me when i did nothing? So his excuse is fucking crappy that even an idiot is not gonna believe it. Laughs. (I actually thought he's a good friend at first but then again, everyone in my life is a user + liar just that i didnt expect myself to meet someone so wtf again this soon, so, yeah.)

I dont even know how to explain what i wanna post right now. Its like a fucking mixture of feelings but the only thing i can feel really clearly right now, is emptiness.

I'dk if im the one who chased everyone out of my life bc i dont even believe anyone anymore apart from Joyce and my family.

And i do know one thing is that, i typed loads of nonsense in this post that didnt make any bit of sense at all. zzz.

But i feel so much better after typing it out!

Im only 18... but why do i have to face cunning people that only adults are facing? Plus i'hv started defending myself against all kinds of people since 14.

Ahhhh, enough of the stupid talks about my life.

 Now, its gonna be pictures of me and Joyce! (^..^)

We played with the makeups we did 2 years back!!

Did we improve??????

I'dk why i really enjoy doing makeups like this. Not for going out, just for taking photos! Probably bc time will pass by fast and my mind is all about makeups for that period of time instead of other things.

Even if its only for 3 minutes, its still a bliss.

And the reason i kept saying 3 minutes instead of 4 or 5 minutes is bc i really like listening to a song that sounds god damn relaxing i swear it feels like nothing bad can hurt you. ~

FOAMS ARE FUN BY THE WAY! ~

Boring chinese new year *yawnz*

Excluding those money for Chinese New Year, the rest are just plain boring. ($_$)


Anyway, i hope this year will get better even though...... my nightmare is starting in approximately 8 days. Wish me luck to get out of that stupid "compulsory" company dinner on 7th Feb.

Ahh, hell.. theres no such word as compulsory in my life.

Im not arguing. Im simply explaining why im right.

Dont tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

And if women didn't exist, all the money in this world would have no meaning at all.

Okeh. i just LOL-ED at one of the messages being sent to me by my secondary school classmates. Like seriously???

You people gave Joyce and i so much unhappy memories back then and now you all have the boody cheeks to say HI, DO YOU REMEMBER ME? (-..-)

Go to hell. Z.

Plus, i dont like to forgive + forget so all of what they did has been etched into my mind since then.

Anyway, why do people nowadays let me feel like they're living in their own damn world. Its like they expect you to listen to them, but they never ever listens to you.

Worst of all, after you finished talking about your own stuffs, they just acted like you havent said one word at all and jump straight to their topic.

All most everyone i know behave in this manner and thats why i fucking hate to talk to them. Whats up with this living-in-the-own-world thing? Zzz.

Add-on to yesterday's post!

I totally forgot to mention...

YES!!!!!!

While Joyce was filling up her job form yesterday, i bought a unicorn for myself! :D

Even though i got caught eventually and need to go through her rounds of nagging, but FINALLY, AT LEAST I BOUGHT A NEW TOY! ;)

AND I GOT THIS DOLL BELOW IN A MINI-VERSION. THE NEXT TOY I WANNA BUY IS GONNA BE A SUPER BIG-SIZE OF HER! I ALREADY KNOW WHERE TO BUY IT!!! (♥-♥)

>:'(

So, i went out with Joyce today to collect the bestfriend necklaces we made together last week. Plus she also found a job. We're working in the same mall but different place though.

Aha! So we're both starting on February next month just that mine's 1st and her's 2nd. My nightmare is coming soon. T.T

THATS WHY I HATE GROWING UP AND WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO THEOUGH ALL OF THAT! >:'(

*This is like the 5th ice-cream cone im eating right now*

Yeah, anyway, the necklaces look like this :

Seriously, i luv the necklaces so much :D

While customizing this 2 necklaces, i got so fucking angry i could blast having to explain to the person whos gonna submit our design to whoever-the-dang-person is.

Bc she kept trying to change the damn design when i DO NOT want it. (=..=)

Then later after collecting the necklaces, i went out of the mall to have a break. Then Joyce told me she needed to go off to the toilet urgently.

Okeh seriously at that moment i just felt vehveh weird bc she never ever leave like that. But without asking much, i went around looking at toys after she left (My fave! I luv toys ♥-♥) 

I dont know if its bc Joyce and i have been friends for far too long or whatever, but i just know that shes gonna buy something for me, so i went to buy her fave Eeyore (i dont understand whats so cute about Eeyore...)  soft toy for her and by the time she came back to the spot where she asked me to wait for her,

JUST NICE I WAS WALKING BACK TOO! AND LUCKY FOR THAT OTHERWISE I'LL GET NAG AT AGAIN!

i knew it. She handed me a wrapped up present and i passed the Eeyore to her too. ~ Aha ;)

AND GUESS WHAT SHE GAVE ME?!?!?!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

THIS :

THE MOMENT I SAW THIS I WENT WTF-ING ALL THE WAY!

SHE EDITED THIS PHOTO LAST NIGHT THEN WENT TO PRINT IT OUT JUST NOW AND PUT IT INTO THAT FRAME!! :@

WHAT AN UGLY PIC OF US BY THE WAY!

THE PHOTO BELOW LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER! (♥-♥)

And i realise having thick-skin isnt of much use bc im still sick and its getting so bloody worst i wish i can exchange my throat and nose with someone else. T.T

I luv myself muamua♥

OH AND WORST OF ALL I NEED TO GET UP AT 6AM LATER TOGETHER WITH JOYCE TO ACCOMPANY SH TO THE GOD-DAMN HOSPITAL!!!

LIKE SERIOUSLY? ITS ALREADY 3.25AM AND I WONDER HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH MY DAY LATER BEING SO DAMN TIRED T.T

SAVE. ME.

I AM SICKKKK! WHY NOW..... T.T

It feels like the world has been frozen. T.T

Sickness took my cuteness away. (#_#)

AND BC 23RD IS NEARING THATS WHY IM SO UNLUCKY TO GET SICK RIGHT NOW!!! :@

.

.

.

.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

(CARTOON ABOVE  + ME = [♥-♥]) 

This is the saddest day of my life bc i am sick!

I

AM

SICK

T.T

 

I am so happy (♥-♥)

I wanted to buy new toys for myself yesterday but Joyce dont allow. T.T she threatened me too! What a bad friend. ( :D )

And i survived through her rounds of nagging about money again!!!! AHA! ♥♥♥ I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

From yesterday onwards, i'hv been living in heaven BECAUSE I BOUGHT SOMETHING!!! (♥-♥) (except for the nagging part!)

AND THAT REMINDS ME! MY PIANO IS STILL IN I.C.U AND I AM VEHVEH ANGRY I SWEAR MY HEAD IS GONNA SPIN AND SHOOT RIGHT OUT THE GOD DAMN WINDOW ANYTIME! :@

(♥-♥) I am so cute today. ~

What a day to start off with. Zzz.

Im so angry i can blast right now. -..- I dont know who the fuck meddle with my piano now the whole thing's spoiled.

What the fuck? Especially when you wake up one morning and realise it on your own without anyone telling and nobody wants to own up. z.

Bestfriends for 6 years starting from 2012 (^..^) - True tears

If only time can stop and wont move on any longer... Cus i feel that i dont have enough time to complete everything i wanna do, and then i cant get back alot of things in life. T.T

For example, my cuteness. HAHAHAHA :D

One morning when i woke up, i received a video from Joyce. A video that she'll make every year for me since 2010. (Okeh she just started making videos for 2 years but ahya! I know there'll be more to come in future! ;D)

Dont know if its bc i just woke up or something, but then it was a surprise to me. I felt vehveh happy at that moment bc she still remembered a bunch of stuffs we did for the past 5 years! (This year just started, so no memories yet!)

In response to her video, i made one back to her! Im not gonna post out the video cus it'll corrupt with my blogsong so, yeah. ~

For Roslyn, we just started being friends for a year, so theres not much memories yet, plus shes someone who dont look back at all, while i do - alot. So no video for her! :@

Anyway, i'hv included photos of Joyce and i since we were... 13? Yeah!

Okeh here goes :

We look so cute when we were 13 ;) AHA!

I still remember i was sick on this day and we were only 14. Ehyyyy, i think we skipped morning assembly that day and hide in the toilet? HAHAHA! I feel like laughing whenever i think back.

Webcamming at 3am and i remembered that day in a few hours' time we were gonna be having N level exam! Cus we cant sleep, too scared of the test if im not wrong.

This picture was taken last year. Joyce and i just started off in ITE.

I dont know why, throughout all these times even when theres new friends who come into my life, at the end of the day, its always Joyce whos there for me when im upset and stuffs. It has always been like this for these past 6 years.

While the rest, they pretended to care, when in fact, they're just kehpos only. LOL.

Oh, and, ever since those crazy days out, these past few days i'hv been cooping myself at home to read so that i wont forget how to spell some certain words! :@

Plus, i cant really read chinese, there was once i cant even write my own chinese name when told to do so cus i'hv forgotten.

And i need to pick up my uniform on tuesday - for work. I'hv decided im gonna work for the coming 3 years. And then i'll decide what to do later on cus im completely lost right now. z.

Its like ever since i quit school i dont wanna think about the future thats why i'hv been dreading 2012. I feel like im gonna live another nightmare once again every new year starts.

I

HATE

GROWING

UP

AND

WHY

CANT

I

BE

A

KID

FOREVER

:@

Ahhhh, this is gonna be one crappy year. 

And i changed couple again. -..- everytime when the ring's level is going higher, problems always cropped up last minute and leads to the ring being broken. ~

I wonder how long can this one last for now. Laughs. ~

And i hate Daisy ring vehveh much bc it looks so ugly im gonna hurl. Ew. Like the one my grandma's wearing.

******* AND ROSLYN POY YOU THIS STUPID IDIOT I AM VEHVEH ANGRY AT YOU RIGHT NOW AND EVERYDAY! JOYCE AND I ALREADY DONT HAVE MUCH TIME TO MEET UP WITH YOU FROM NEXT MONTH ONWARDS

AND THAT IS WHY WE'RE TREASURING EVERY MOMENT TO GO OUT NOW AND YET ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THAT BLOODY CBP AND TAGGING YOUR EXP!!!!!

LVL 73 ALREADY THEN??? YOU WILL PLAY AUDITIONSEA UNTIL YOU 99 YEARS OLD MEH!!!! :@

NO RIGHT?!?!?! (#_#) *******