ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Joyce and i spent 2 nights together and y'know how you'll tend to forget all your troubles when you're with friends?
That was how i felt. After she went home, i feel like im all alone again. My home, it feels like a shell bc i seldom talk to my family too.
Everytime when im back at home, all the things i didnt want to think about just came back into my mind automatically and i friggin' hate it.
Worst of all, when i woke up today, i got a text from Gary (=..=) After reading his text i felt so fucked up i'dk what to do.
Plus he kept reminding me of our past. Although the past about us he mentioned were good stuffs, but in my flashbacks, there were only all the bad things he did.
Bc the bad things he did can actually cover up ALL the good moments we had.
Then, i replied him...
Its like the things i replied back to him were all about what happened to me during last year just that i cut it in short. Ehy.... actually i didnt even specifically tell him what happened, i just babbled a bunch of shits and while i was replying,
at the same time, my mind had flashbacks about everything that had happened last year.
I didnt know why i started telling him all those stuffs either. Its like after i hit the send button then i realised what i was actually doing. zzz.
And, i had a friend. I couldnt use the "real me" to talk to him at all. He didnt allow it. He said its bc he's afraid that people are gonna talk shits about me.
But i think the real reason is bc he's afraid of people talking craps about him bc he's flirting with alot of girls. Okeh seriously i dont even care if he's flirting or not bc we're only friends (=..=) its bc of him, he's the caused of the whole damn problem that i have to hide behind a guy's status to talk to him. Z.
How pathetic is that LOL. I find it too suffocating to be friends with him so eventually i stopped talking to him much.
Plus in the first place, why will people talk shits about me when i did nothing? So his excuse is fucking crappy that even an idiot is not gonna believe it. Laughs. (I actually thought he's a good friend at first but then again, everyone in my life is a user + liar just that i didnt expect myself to meet someone so wtf again this soon, so, yeah.)
I dont even know how to explain what i wanna post right now. Its like a fucking mixture of feelings but the only thing i can feel really clearly right now, is emptiness.
I'dk if im the one who chased everyone out of my life bc i dont even believe anyone anymore apart from Joyce and my family.
And i do know one thing is that, i typed loads of nonsense in this post that didnt make any bit of sense at all. zzz.
But i feel so much better after typing it out!
Im only 18... but why do i have to face cunning people that only adults are facing? Plus i'hv started defending myself against all kinds of people since 14.
Ahhhh, enough of the stupid talks about my life.
Now, its gonna be pictures of me and Joyce! (^..^)
We played with the makeups we did 2 years back!!
Did we improve??????
I'dk why i really enjoy doing makeups like this. Not for going out, just for taking photos! Probably bc time will pass by fast and my mind is all about makeups for that period of time instead of other things.
Even if its only for 3 minutes, its still a bliss.
And the reason i kept saying 3 minutes instead of 4 or 5 minutes is bc i really like listening to a song that sounds god damn relaxing i swear it feels like nothing bad can hurt you. ~
FOAMS ARE FUN BY THE WAY! ~
